when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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