I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
