You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
