Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
