I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
