Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
