i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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