then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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