did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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