i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
