I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
