it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
