I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize