don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
