he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
