Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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