Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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