i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
