this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
