Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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