Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize