dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
They should really pass out barf bags in church
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
