how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
