No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
