I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
dude. I can hear the air.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
