your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
