Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize