I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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