well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
