so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
