People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
