The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize