he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
