smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
