I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
we have officially lost it.
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
