I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
