How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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