I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
