a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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