Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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