She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize