I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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