I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
