Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
