smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
