My nipple is on Facebook.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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