It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
My life is pants optional.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
