then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
