I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
