:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
