your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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