He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
