his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
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