I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize
