Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
