How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
