how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
