I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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